A really awesome email exchange

I'd like to share an email exchange I recently had with a woman named Donna, who is here at AISC as our aquatics director. Although a bit rigid, we have really begun to enjoy working together in the after school swim program. I could get into what precipitated these emails, but I think it's fairly clear. More than anything, I just want to share what kind of people I work with. This school, and more so, the people in it, are just amazing.

Hey Donna,

What fun today. As I was sitting in my car on the way to the old PH, I was thinking to myself and wanted to share something with you. It's not that I wouldn't rather just tell you in person, but it seems we're always surrounded by kids. It's also not one of those, "Hey, can we talk for a second?" types of conversations either, so I don't feel bad just emailing you. 

I just wanted you to know a little about my background. I started working with kids as a lifeguard when I was in high school, but then in college, I worked in a program that contracted out summer camp services for the US Military overseas. During this time, I got a lot of the experience that ultimately lead me to decide to pursue a career in teaching. So, after college, I returned to my former elementary school where the population had transformed into a Title 1/High Poverty demographic. The school was failing miserably, and I quickly realized that this was no summer camp. Being the young/"cool" teacher on campus, I had a fairly sizable presence, and before long, I became the school's primary disciplinarian while we worked to turn things around. 

For the next few years, I kind of relished this title. I'd holler at kids, suspend them, and basically run around like a tyrant. That wasn't to say that I didn't have fun with my kids (I certainly did), but for wayward students growing up without fathers/positive male role models, I became kind of a "go to" for discipline. And, considering that I was such a handful during my preteen/teenage years, I knew how to discipline well. Really well.

Long story short, for the past five years (after coming back from Medellin, Colombia) I was the school's goon. I went back and got my Masters/Admin Credential, and became the guy that kids did NOT want to have to deal with. I worked every Friday (or anytime anyone needed me and wanted to come cover my class) suspending/intimidating/counseling/lecturing kids. I did this in three schools, from K-12. At first, I loved the power, but after a while, it got old. So old, in fact, that I realized that admin just wasn't for me. But, because I had earned this reputation, and because the school needed someone like me, I remained the scary guy. 

After 12 years of being "that guy," I just got tired of it. I got tired of kids being scared of me. I got tired of yelling at them. I got tired of it all and almost completely lost my love for teaching. I knew that if something drastic didn't happen, I was about to permanently burn out (in fact, I almost quit midyear to take an inside sales job in the electronics industry...with zero experience!). So, last fall, I made the decision to leave behind everything I knew, and go back overseas. 

So now, here I am. I'm working in my dream job and my love of teaching is stronger than it's ever been. I'm actually teaching, I absolutely adore the kids, and best of all, I'm having fun every day and truly look forward to coming to work. Working with you and the kids in ASA is just the icing on the proverbial cake. 

The reason that I want to share this with you is that I want you to know that, although sometimes it may appear that the kids are getting over on me (and maybe sometimes they are), it is by choice that I don't discipline too hard. It's fun to goof around with them, although admittedly, sometimes I let them get away with too much. I've had a couple of one-on-ones (in fact, with the twins recently...who both ended up crying because they were blown away by my serious demeanor) where I talked to them about their interactions with adults and their peers. However, they're still young, have some impulse-control issues and just want to play, and I get that. In my mind, ASA should be structured (of course), but also a time to kind of "let your hair down" and have fun. 

It's been a long time since I've been so happy teaching, and part of my coming here was that I wanted a complete 180 from the life I was living back in CA. With my own class, I'm the most relaxed and laid-back I've ever been, but at the same time, I never have to do more than raise my voice about a decibel to let them know I'm serious. And that, to me, is just amazing. I'd scream and yell and threaten and punish all day at my old school, and although it eventually worked, it never felt ok. The realization I had today that I haven't even felt close to mad at a single kid at this school, the entire year, is amazing to me. What a change. 

So, what I guess I'm trying to say (although admittedly in the most wordy way possible) is that I'm thoroughly enjoying not only AISC, but also working with you and the kids at the pool. I fully realize that sometimes I let them get a little crazy, but it's just such a nice change of pace to not be feared. With that said, I know sometimes I need to tighten the reigns, and that's something I'll need to work on (wow, what a crazy thing for me to hear myself saying in my head). I hope it's not ever too disruptive, and if it is, please feel free to step in and tell us all to knock it off (seriously, but hopefully we stop short of that). I am truly a big kid inside, and I'm absolutely embracing that right now because frankly, it just feels good. 

Anyway, I've undoubtedly strained your eyes (that's not an age joke) with my long-winded email, but again, I wanted you to have a better understanding of where I'm coming from. 

Thanks again for having me on board, and I look forward to many more fun new memories!

See you Friday. :)

Ben

Dear Ben,

YOU are an incredibly wonderful human being!  I just adore this wonderful story of "You". I never would have guessed you were a goon! That you are so aware of who you were, who you want to be and who you are, is refreshing.   I so appreciate the opportunity to get to know you better and feel special that you entrusted me with your story.  And don't apologize about getting "wordy", that is my favorite part! You should see me when I really get going! I LOVE working with you and as I watched you with the kids yesterday, I was thinking how easy you made it look to have FUN with the kids and wish I were better at letting go....but that is another long story!

I love teaching and one of my main foci is on helping kids to be young, polite, engaged and focused little people. I have so little time with them and want it all to be used to lead them to success. Bu, also, I realize that I need to let loose sometimes and you are a great role model. You bring great enthusiasm to the program and I am so happy to have you involved. I must admit that when Raphael hauled off and hit you yesterday, my hair about stood on end, but I quickly remembered that you are a seasoned teacher (not knowing you were a former goon!) who knows how to deal with kids and backed off.  That said, I am all about mutual respect and appropriate behavior and will always expect students under my leadership to practice both.  I want to provide a structure where they can practice this AND have fun. I think we are well on our way to creating that environment at the pool.

I am not sure if you are aware, but I have been charged with creating a WINNING SAISA swim team one day.  The only way that I know to reach that goal is to build from the ground up, thus my focus on teaching kids how to swim correctly from the beginning. I know this takes time and I want kids having fun learning while they develop the discipline to realize that they are the "masters of their own bodies".  I loved that you connected thought and awareness with physical practice the other day. That is EXACTLY the kind of thing that I feel is important in learning swimming. The kids here do not have the basis that I am used to building on. We are spending a lot more time building on basic skills than I have had to in the past, but I have seen so much progress, already. I am having fun building the program and I hope that you will stick with me next year so we can guide the swimmers together.  

I feel that whoever hired you last fall....Andrew, Kevin, Anne....was on their game when they offered you a contract.  I know that the kids adore you and I do too. You are a gift that I appreciate dearly.

Thanks, again, for being exactly who you are and being here.

Hugs,

Donna

10 Days Until Malaysia!

Here goes another guilt-induced blog, brought to you by none other than Kelly...

Let me begin by saying that I am STOKED to go to Malaysia. I don't have many hobbies, but I can say that I'm fascinated by modern architecture. I remember seeing the iconic Petronas Towers many years ago and was just astonished by their beauty. They are the tallest twin towers in the world, and very much the centerpiece of KL. I have already booked (after EXTENSIVE research) my aparthotel (I think that's a word), which gets rave reviews, but one of the coolest aspects is that it has a rooftop infinity pool that looks out onto them. I guess the rooms themselves don't have much of a view, but hell, when you are giant towers, I guess you can be seen from pretty much anywhere (well, besides my hotel room window of course).

I fly in on Thursday afternoon and from there, will go straight to the hotel. After that, I don't have much planned besides hitting an Argentine steakhouse which my co-worker promises will be an amazing piece of meat. Although I have had some beef since getting to India, none of it has been particularly good. And in fact, one of the most memorable steaks I've ever had was during my NYE trip to Buenos Aires back in 2007. After getting to my hotel, I remember being told that people didn't eat until REALLY late, so, I took a nap until 9:00 PM (thinking that was late enough). I was shocked to see pretty much nobody in the restaurant. Thinking it must just be an "off" night, I proceeded to eat my porterhouse and chase it with a nice bottle of malbec. Lonely dinner? Yes. Amazing steak? Also yes. So, we'll see how the two stack up against each other.

From there, I'll probably just wander around the downtown area a bit. The next morning, the tentative plan is to book some sort of walking tour, because if there's one thing I know about myself, it's that I'll find a way to get lost and pretty much completely waste the day. That evening, I have a 7:00 reservation to go up to the towers on a tour, which will hopefully be just a bit past dusk. From there, I hope to get some amazing city views and more "point and click masterpieces" from my trusty iPhone.

The same co-worker who gave me the restaurant suggestion also happened to live there for a number of years (and coincidentally also worked at the Columbus School prior to me) working at the International School. Because of that, she has some old contacts there that she's going to email to see if they are interested in meeting up with me after. I told her that I'd be waiting at "The Whisky Bar." That way if they show up, great, and if not, well, at least I still have an extensive array of whiskeys from around the world to keep me company (and if I drink just the right amount, maybe I can have a conversation with my glass).

From there, not much planned. KL is supposedly truly an international location, with people and cultures (and food) from all around the world. Dining is supposed to be first-class, with everything from street food to fine dining. And what's even better, they're supposed to also have crazy shopping options and over-the-top malls. Hopefully I can keep some semblance of self-control when it comes to this department. After all, I only have one carry-on to bring it all back with me!

So, the really neat part about this all is that if you begin from the end of October and go forward two months, I will have visited four countries during that time, and that just blows my mind. India is enough, but to get to see some of Thailand and Malaysia, and then be able to top it all off with NYE in Dubai with one of my best friends? That's just amazing!

In other news...I've petitioned my principal to consider moving me to first grade next year. Yes, I know that sounds insane, and yes, most would immediately remind me that you need tremendous amounts of patience, but here's the thing: there's a teacher in first who'd like to try out intermediate, and the first grade team is amazing. The ladies working in it (including the head of school's wife) are all rock solid and totally experienced. Also, the two ladies I'd be working with more closely are incredible and super supportive. Add to this the fact that I'd have a full-time TA and the regular 15 kids, and I think you can see why this could be a good move. So why first? Well, it'd truly be jumping in with both feet, and professionally, it'd do wonders for my CV. Even though I'm not quite even halfway through my school year, it's never too early to start thinking about the future, and with that said, I'm already looking at some specific countries where I'd like to work next time around.

Some of my friends here have already said things like, "You know, you really should stay three years. It looks better." To that I say, "I'm a guy who teaches elementary school." Enough said. I figure that if I pull off first grade without losing my mind completely (and hopefully even enjoying it enough that I'd consider doing it again," this really opens up my options for the next hiring season. Speaking of which, hiring season is fully underway at this point, with our school's positions officially becoming confirmed by December 1st. Schools like mine are already aggressively seeking candidates, holding Skype interviews and paper screening. It's crazy to think that by this time next year, I'll be hunting for my new job. But who knows, maybe something will happen that will make me want to stick around. I can't rule it out completely, but seriously, this is a hard place to live. The traffic, the people, the noise and garbage (not to mention the 58% tax on alcohol which makes cocktails in the $12-$15 range)...it all just adds up and gets to you sometimes. So, we'll see in the next couple of weeks whether this first grade thing materializes. I'll keep everyone posted!

Alright, sorry for the size of this one, but I've gotta run. The PH is calling, and after eating an entire Domino's pizza (hey, it was only a medium) the other night, I've gotta answer this one.

Ben

Seven Knights in Thailand...well, just one really

Well looky here...another prep period that I don't really need because I already have today and tomorrow planned. Isn't that nice? That gives me time to talk a little about Thailand!

What can I say about Thailand? More specifically, what can I say about Bangkok? Even more specifically, what can I say about Sukhumvit, the area where we spent nearly all of our time while in Thailand? Well, I can say that they have some really nice hotels, that's for sure, and I can also say that they have great food stands set up all around them. Oh, I can also say they have some kick ass restaurants. And finally, I have to tell you that my time there was paradoxical..it was awesomely terrible. But more about that later...

It would take me far too long to describe in detail my time there, however, due to the miracles of my "traveler's SIM card" and Facebook, I think I documented it fairly well. The only thing missing perhaps was a bit more commentary. So, what I'll do during this blog is give kind of an overview of my favorite events and my general impressions of what is indeed, a totally alive and kick-ass city.

To begin with, let me say that it was refreshing to see all of the modernity that a city like this provides. It was a completely different change of pace from life in Chennai. The streets were clean, there were beautiful towers everywhere, the public transportation was reliable and efficient, and perhaps one of the easiest things to overlook...there was NO HONKING (you literally could not believe all of the honking here in India). All of this made for a very enjoyable experience as there was little in the way of frustrations. In fact, the only frustrations were about how I felt on certain days, and towards the end, every day. But again, more on that later.

I went with my buddy Ethan, who I think I mentioned works in third grade. He lived there for a year about 8-9 years ago when he had just graduated from college. He and I are similar in that we're both used to solo travel, but in the end, we traveled really well together. He's really mellow and easy-going, and that's the best kind of personality to travel with. We got in on Saturday morning at about 6:30, so by the time we got into the city, it was still waking up. The hotel was nowhere near ready for us, so we set out on the city. And that's when the adventure began. Almost immediately, I had my mind blown repeatedly. The sights, the sounds, the people..it was all just crazy. And I fell in love immediately.

For the next seven days, we ate and drank our way through Bangkok. One of the things worth mentioning is that the food there is absolutely at the core of everything. It's just what people do. There are food stands EVERYWHERE. The food is undeniably delicious, and even better, CHEAP! Seriously, I just couldn't get enough. I found myself eating after already eating. I ate when I was already full. It was ridiculous and totally irresistible. I was a slave to those food stands the entire time I was there. However, it wasn't all just cheap food for us. No no. In fact, based on the advice of my good friends Justin and Deb Kjeldsen, we went to a restaurant called Bo Lan. Now, this wasn't a cheap restaurant, but it was divine. And what made it really special was that it was my treat. Well, it was really on my late Uncle John, who I'm not sure whether would've been pissed or proud that I was spending his money on such an extravagant meal. However, we enjoyed a 12-course tasting menu with drink pairings and copious amounts of delectable cocktails. And you should've seen us. We were like kids in the candy store. Wide eyes and saliva dripping every time a new plate was brought out. The tastes were so new and so amazing. We just couldn't believe what we were tasting. It was an amazing meal, and easily one of the best I've ever had.

Another day that was really memorable was "Boat ride/watch/cat shirt Day." I'm sure you saw the pictures. What an epic adventure that was. We jumped on this longboat that had this gnarly monster diesel outboard engine that just ROARED. We toured the river, but what was even more amazing (and unexpected) was when we entered the locks and toured the canals. The word I used to describe this part of the tour was "blissful." I was just overcome with joy, spending the day cruising around the waterways of Bangkok, looking at people's houses along the way, and the temples, and just all of the scenery. It was truly something special, and what made it better was being with three of my closest friends here. From there, great things kept happening. We went into this shopping area where I found a watch stand selling incredibly realistic what I think are replica watches. Now, I've bought some fake watches in my time, but these things are so realistic that you just wouldn't believe it. I was in heaven. All told, I bought four watches: two Breitlings (by Bentley) one Rolex Pearl and one Tag. They are awesome, and I couldn't be more proud to have them. They sit with my other two watches in my nightstand...nearly one for every day of the week. And I love it. Throughout the walking tour of the massive market, I drank beer along the way and blew through cash. It was a shopper's delight. When it came time for us all to meet up, I had quite the buzz. We met up at an Irish brewpub, where I proceeded to knock back a few Guinnesses and a couple of shots of Jameson. Oh, and I almost forgot the best part! I was wearing a cat shirt that Holly had bought me as a present! So, when she said, "Hey, there's someone wearing a cat shirt!" I jumped up and chased her out the door and said, "Hey!! YOU'RE WEARING A CAT SHIRT! I'M WEARING A CAT SHIRT TOO!! LET'S TAKE A PICTURE!" Now, even being as drunk as I was, I realized that this wasn't the time to put my arm around her. Looking back, her family was likely horrified at the grown-ass-man asking their teenage daughter to pose with him. Fortunately (because that's a damned good picture), she obliged, and now I have a hilarious picture that I will always cherish. After driving back to the hotel, Ethan and I apparently went next door to the 7-11 and grabbed a bottle of Thai whiskey and headed back to the Sofitel where Diane joined us. I guess I put on a little dance show, which I entitled "The Cat Shirt Shuffle" and then proceeded to pass out on the bed snoring loudly. They later told me that they tried to snuff me out with a pillow, which was obviously unsuccessful because I'm still here today. We were all supposed to leave to an island the next morning, but when I awoke, I felt like death. Fortunately, Ethan was totally OK with not going, so I remained in bed until the early part of the day. And because of that move, we spent the rest of the time right there in Bangkok.

Looking back, I don't regret that day out on the boat, but I do regret our decision to not go to the island. The rest of the time in Bangkok was fun, but I think we could've hit the pause button and like the girls, we could've come back on Halloween. However, I would also like to mention that for the next few days, everyone in the group got sick except for me. Somehow, through all of the eating and drinking, I stayed immune to the vomiting, flu-like symptoms and diarrhea. Amazing, huh? But the problem (and this goes back to what I said at the beginning of the blog) was that I felt like shit all week. I was totally bloated and felt disgusting all over. I knew that I wasn't really 225 pounds again, but it sure felt like it. And I felt bad. I knew that I could come back and get rid of it pretty easily, and I also knew that if I really wanted, I could hit the hotel gym, but in the end, what I ended up doing was just giving in to it. I continued to eat and drink myself silly, telling myself that I was on vacation and that it was OK.

When I got back, I immediately fruit fasted and got to work exercising in my living room. I vowed to start back up with Crossfit style workouts and to eat well (as much as possible) all the way up to our Thanksgiving Break. Today will be day four of this type of living, and today, I even got a compliment on how my belly is disappearing. I think that I'm probably close to undoing the damage caused during my week there, and I feel completely back to normal. Good thing I have things like watches, iPhone cases, designer belt buckles and amazing cat photos to remind me of all the fun I had when I was there.