Park Hyatt

In case you haven't read the news, I'm addicted to the Park Hyatt. I basically lived there this weekend, and I have to say, it was amazing. Saturday was a big day there for me, and it concluded with a "Grand Masters of Food and Wine" event that knocked our respective socks off. It was so incredible. I came home from there and drunk dialed Kelly who was at a soccer match. During our five minute conversation, a message was relayed to me, and it went something like this: "Mom says you only ever write about school on your blog and she's getting tired of reading about that topic. Find something else to blog about." Not so subtle, huh? In my own defense, I've got to say that school is pretty much my life. It's been such an emotional roller coaster that it's basically constantly on my mind. In the beginning, I was super stressed out, but now, things have settled down to the point where I'm at more of a refining stage. And it IS the reason I came over here and it IS where I spend a majority of my time., so yeah, I talk about it a lot. But I agree, and I could see how people would like some variety, so tonight, I'm going to talk about my second love, the Park Hyatt.

So like I said, Saturday was quite the day at the old PH. I picked up Holly at around 1:30 (after a huge miscommunication with my non-English-speaking driver, Babu who was supposed to be at my house at noon). To try and teach him a lesson, I jumped into the car and drove myself about a mile down the street to a very Americanized coffee shop for a mocha. That plan backfired, because since my car wasn't there when he did eventually arrive, he took off again and I ended up having to wait even longer for him! Bad idea. Anyway, we picked her up and headed off. On the way, however, we decided to take a detour and go check out the Grand Chola hotel, which is India's largest hotel. It's also supposedly seven stars (which I didn't even know was possible), but after walking around in it, I could see how it might be. It was opulent to the extreme, and we got the grand tour because we told them that we were considering having our wedding reception there. Although the lady didn't question it, I have to be honest when I look back and realize that our plan was probably totally unbelievable. I'd say the biggest issue was that she was wearing a hippy dress, and I was wearing short and Nikes. I don't think big ballers EVER dress like that. The best part was after the tour concluded and she asked us if we wanted to go talk prices. I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying at that point, but Holly handled it by telling her that she actually wasn't feeling well and that we were going to leave. She then asked if we had any business cards. Nope, all out of those too. Sorry lady. 

From there, we headed back over to the PH. Because neither one of us was feeling 100%, I decided to use my one free massage (got it with the membership, and boy are they geniuses for giving you that). This was only the fourth massage I'd ever had in my life. My first was a horribly awkward man massage when I was 21 and living in Italy. The second one was a sports massage that my dad treated me to post CIM Marathon back in 2006. The third was another awkward Ayurvedic man massage about a month ago (notice a pattern here?), and after that one, I swore I'd never get another. But when I found out that Asian women do the massages at the PH, I signed up with no hesitation. I chose the Swedish massage, which I had obviously heard of before, but had never had, and let me tell you something, it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It was an amazing experience, and I came to three realizations that day. I never knew that I enjoyed having my ass, the bottoms of my feet, and my head massaged so much. When it was over, I heard myself proclaiming that I'd be getting one every week from now on, but after seeing that they actually cost about $50, I quickly changed my mind. 

From there, I headed out to the pool to do some lounging. That was of course very nice, and Holly and I enjoyed some poolside dining. I hung out there for a while, and when it came time, I went in for some steam room/jacuzzi/rainfall shower action and then got ready for the big dinner. As I went to change back into my clothes (yeah, the same ones I wore for my fake wedding tour), I realized that I had completely ignored the fact that I was going to a dinner at the Park Hyatt. Shamefully, I came out of the locker room wearing my street clothes (at least I had a collared shirt) only to see Holly and our other friend Susannah (the one I said I was engaged to on my FB pic) all dressed up. It was too late to go home, so I had to go looking like a giant ass. Everyone was so nice about it, saying, "You look fine. Don't worry about it," but really, I felt super self-conscious about it the whole time. What a jerk. Anyway, I could go on and on about all of the amazing food (I will say that it featured chefs making Thai, Italian, French, and Indian specialties), but I'm already seeing that this blog is longer than I want it to be and I'm getting tired of typing, Plus, I put up all of the pictures on FB already, so you've probably already seen them…

I want to begin wrapping this up by going back to talk about the PH and a realization I made this weekend. So on Sunday (after sleeping in until 11:00), I got up and told myself, "Ben, go be adventurous. Go somewhere new instead of going right back to the PH. You came to India to explore, but these days, the only thing you explore is the bottom of the infinity pool and various items off of the menu at the restaurant." So, I decided to head on out and go for a big walking tour. And you know what? As I walked, I realized something…Chennai sucks. Seriously, the vast majority of this city is just an absolute dump. During my entire two hours of walking, I didm't see ANYTHING interesting or beautiful. Just crappy shops, freaking goats and cows eating trash, big, filthy buses blasting their air horns, one trillion mopeds and motorcycles and their symphony of beeps, and of course, lots of Indians. I was glad to get out and about, but I realized that I would've been much happier going to the PH. 

So that brings me to a troubling realization. I came to explore, to immerse myself in the culture, and you know what? I just don't see it happening. Aside from wanting to occasionally take pictures with me, none of the people I see around me really want to have anything to do with me. Walking around this town is a nightmare. It's hot, absolutely filthy, and just generally unpleasant. And that's a shame. I started to feel guilty about that, but those feelings were pretty short-lived because once I got to the hotel, I knew I was right where I belonged…poolside. 

Park Hyatt, I love you. 

Evolution- Part 1

The other day on FB, I talked about how I felt like my teaching style was evolving. It's crazy, but it's also true.

For the past 13 years, I've basically taught the same way. When I came into teaching, the district was embracing a style called, "Explicit Direct Instruction," or EDI for short. Using this style, teachers basically power taught lessons, then guided kids through some practice, and finally, had them work on independent practice. At that point, we could either wander the room a bit, or, if we felt we had done a particularly amazing job of teaching, we could go back to our desks, put our feet up, and go on Facebook. Not that I ever did that...I just heard some people did.

After practicing this "style" of teaching for so long, and after teaching basically the same content (often using the same exact same lessons), I found myself in a rut. "Teaching" was to the point where it felt dull, uninspired, and frankly, very lowbrow. I felt as if (and usually this WAS the case) I was the one with the information and that it was simply the kids' jobs to listen, "learn," and show what they had remembered. Many times, by staying on top of the kids, demanding their attention, and threatening them into paying attention, you got the false sense that kids were actually learning. Occasionally, you'd have the times where half the class would get an A on their math tests and you'd feel like you were a pretty awesome teacher for that simple fact. Nevermind you always had 7-8 kids getting F's, or another group of 3-4 getting D's. With those, you could simply blame their parents or the fact that for years, they hadn't paid attention in class and that their not learning was their own fault. It never truly felt quite right, but it was fairly easy to justify away and allow yourself to sleep at night knowing that their not learning was really their fault and none of your own. 

Then you'd have the teachers who'd approach this problem differently. They'd see the same lack of learning in their classrooms and use another strategy, which is to absolutely DRILL their kids (ALL of them) with COUNTLESS stacks of worksheets, assessments, and more worksheets. These teachers would often be obsessed with state test scores (something I became increasingly disgusted by), and because they were so worried about how the kids would do, they'd make them completely miserable. They fooled themselves (and maybe even some of the kids) into thinking that they really were learning. These kids may have been able to hold on to that information long enough that they could perform the next day, week, or maybe even month, but in the end, most of the information would be lost. Why? Because there was just no meaning to the lesson. 

Now, I'm not saying that any of these styles are inherently bad (after all, I wasn't exactly on the cutting edge myself), but what would typically happen is that the "bright kids" would excel, their parents would be happy, and because these were the parents whose opinions really mattered, you'd be labeled an effective teacher. You could elevate yourself to "great teacher" status by also having fun with the kids and great relationships with them and their families. Although I look back and realize all of my shortcomings as a teacher, I will always feel good about the positive change I was able to instill in many of my kids who were coming from less-than-ideal home situations. I don't think I was doing a bad job, in fact, I think I did a pretty good job all things considered. During my time at TCK, we completely transformed the place, and that's something I'll always be proud of. However, after six weeks here at AISC, I'm realizing how much I've grown, and how much more I'll continue to grow by staying on this trajectory. 

I've mentioned that the way we teach reading and writing is through a workshop model created by Columbia Teacher's College. For me, these programs were a HUGE unknown. I came here thinking that I'd be the expert on my "Thinking Maps," which have proven to be so effective in the past. And while I still believe in their efficacy, I've realized there are other ways that could be even more effective. The "learning curve" on these new programs was steep. So steep that often, it felt insurmountable. In education, we often talk about the "affective filter," which is our brain's way of reacting to either positive or negative stimuli. In other words, when we're stressed or upset, we can't think and learn. When we're happy and comfortable, learning happens naturally. Because my affective filter was so high, it was very difficult for my brain to accept this new information. But here was the problem: there wasn't a choice. We HAD to learn this program because we'd HAVE to use it on a daily basis. So now you've got a situation where you're being forced to learn a new program that is vitally important, but not enough time to process the information. Then, you're in a classroom where the expectation is to use the program, but not really knowing how because you still don't get it. Add to that that you've got some of your own ideas about how to teach it, but you have a co-teacher in your classroom who doesn't know your style, and since they're your co-teacher, you can't use it. Instead, you get to fumble through this new way of teaching, often confused, often feeling like an idiot, and standing in front of kids who are not really buying into the whole program because it's fairly obvious that their teacher doesn't know what they're doing and clearly isn't passionate about it. And that's a really important aspect of teaching. 

But now, six weeks into school, I can safely say I am starting to get it. Because I've spent so much time trying to learn about this program (thinking about it constantly, asking TONS of questions, and even getting a one-week professional development from an expert from TCC), I am finally maneuvering through the all of the confusion and instead am at a place where I'm feeling better about it every day. I feel less self-doubt, have started to kind of make it my own, am getting along quite well with my co-teacher, and have much more "buy in" from my kids. This workshop model is completely different in every way to what I'm used to, but on that note, it has completely challenged me on so many levels. I can't say that this experience has been fun, but like the quote that drove me to win the Paleo Challenge back in October of last year, "I didn't say it was going to be easy, I said it was going to be worth it." It most certainly hasn't been easy, but learning a whole new way of teaching has been an amazing process. Not to mention the fact that this is a program that's been created by one of the most prestigious teaching colleges in the entire USA. This is something that people pay tens of thousands of dollars to learn, and it's cost to me has been only a few stress zits and perhaps a few more grey hairs.

It doesn't stop there (literally the learning or the blog entry). There's more. While slugging my way through this new language curriculum, I was at the same time dropping the ball on math instruction. With the advent of the new "Common Core Curriculum," which is just finally starting to take off in the USA (and is also completely new to me), math has a somewhat new way of being taught and additionally, there are new ways for kids to show their thinking. This was only further complicated by the fact that the school DOES have a curriculum "Everyday Math," but it's incomplete at best, doesn't align with common core, and even more problematic, the school has basically told us not to use it. Basically, without a curriculum in place, we were left to create it ourselves. So now you've got one veteran teacher using the curriculum that we were told not to use, another one who uses kind of a piecemeal approach (but still teaching one concept a day), two new teachers using online resources, and one teacher who has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. What made it worse for me was being surrounded by different people who had different ideas about how to teach, and then on top of that, basically being the most indecisive person in the world. As a result, I began to focus completely on my reading/writing and basically neglecting my math because I couldn't commit to anything. I was utterly lost, and then I took a trip down to Auroville...

To be continued

Raining On My Parade

My new strategy from today on is that rather than committing myself to epics, I'll instead focus on some smaller stories. It's really the same as we ask our kids to do in class. The first unit we teach is personal narratives, and the beginning of that is always picking a "small moment" and then adding detail to that as to not overwhelm the reader. That's not to say that I'll always keep it concise, but I think by going into it knowing that I'm not requiring myself to sit at the keyboard for an hour, maybe I'l be able to post more often. We'll see how that goes...

So today's Friday, and everyone loves a good Friday (especially when the school is hosting a 2.5 hour cocktail party at The Westin after school). However, in keeping with the yin and the yang, we had to start our day off with a pretty intense parent meeting. In the meeting there were two principals, two counselors, two teachers, one translator, two angry parents and two very confused and probably very nervous children. The student is mine, and we weren't meeting for anything bad per se, but rather because they want to move their 9.5 year old (with very little English) up to sixth grade. The problem (for them) was that absolutely nobody at the table agreed with them. He's a very bright kid, but we just have too many concerns about his developmental growth. It was definitely a tense situation, but in the end, the decision was made to keep him with me. Going into the meeting, I had a plan. Yesterday was a really fun day for the kids, and as such, there were lots of smiles. I snapped a few great pics of the class yesterday and came to the meeting prepared with my (hopeful) "ace in the holes..." two pics of their son surrounded by his peers with a huge smile on his face. As the meeting concluded and the parents were probably at their most upset, I pulled out the pictures and told them that despite the fact we had differences of opinion, I wanted them to look at these pictures of their son lying on the floor with his friends and tell me that he wasn't happy and wasn't learning. I went on to say that I took issue with them calling his placement in my class "a punishment." I explained that this is my 14th year teaching, and that I was recruited by this, an amazing school. I told the dad that I didn't think his saying that was personal, but that it was offensive. I consider his son to be very lucky to be at this school, in my class and that even though there was nothing more we could say that would ease his frustration, I would always look out for his son's best interest and take good care of him. It was the first time in the meeting where dad had nothing to say.

I walked out feeling good about my "closing." I got a vigorous handshake from my boss and some "good work/good jobs" from others and was feeling quite victorious. When I left the office with my Indian co-teacher, I was pointing out how great it was that that was the one time where dad had nothing to say. Consider it giving myself a little pat on the back. When I was done being proud of myself, she turned and said to me, "I think he was only quiet because he didn't understand a word you said" (I beg to differ).

Day 50 & The Honeymoon's Over!

OK, OK. I know I've been slacking lately. I know it. But, I think that shows how consumed I've been by school lately, and that, clearly makes the whole thing not my fault. I mean, it's not like I've been lazing away at the Park Hyatt in the steamroom or watching episodes of Breaking Bad at night trying to ignore all of you guys. I've just been really busy, alright?!

Truly, sorry for the delay. I actually was waist-deep in writing this MASSIVE entry the other day, but as I was nearing completion, I had some second thoughts. Some of it was getting a little too personal, with some issues with kids (really more their families) and some co-worker drama. I still remember my last blog from Colombia, the one where I got pretty detailed about some of the staff drama. The whole time, I vented on it and talked about people thinking they'd never find it, but in the end, after I left, they did and I felt really badly about it. So, I thought better of getting too personal and deleted the whole thing. In the end, it's not like anything I was saying was particularly bad, but it just didn't feel right, so I let it go (although I think it definitely would have made for some juicy reading given my gift of exaggeration!).

I will quickly address the fact that the "honeymoon" period is definitely over. I don't mean my own personal "honeymoon period" (I don't believe I actually go through those stages of culture shock, seriously, because even my worst days here are still better than the conditions in which I had to work last year), but rather, the relationships with the kids and co-workers. This is normal, however. It happens every year. In fact, I remember last year posting that my class was such a joy to teach and how happy I was that I went down to fourth, and within another month or so, I was dreaming of an early retirement. That wasn't because of the kids per se (well, a few of them made things much worse), but also because after that first month had passed, many had begun to shed their acts and began testing me in every way imaginable. Don't get the wrong idea though, my kids aren't doing that to me, nor do I believe they ever will. This class is genuinely and truly kind, happy and mostly hard working (quite a few of the kids aren't super motivated because they know their stay here is only temporary, and in the case of the Korean kids, they have "Korean School" until nearly 10:00 every night). I've had to have a few "motivational speeches" (one of my favorite things to do!) with the class, but the result has definitely been harder work from them. But getting back to my point, there have been a few relatively minor issues with a couple of kids, but more so, with their parents. These are parents who often have relatively high-ranking positions and aren't used to not having things their way. In fact, I can say that I had one parent semi confront me the other day, and when I shared it with my principal, he replied that he was sorry I had to deal with that "uncomfortable situation." I laughed and responded that after 13 years in public schools, this particular conversation didn't even register on the "discomfort scale."

The co-worker drama (see how I'm toning this all down?) was simply us moving past the same stage where everyone gets along and into the new stage where people's little idiosyncrasies start to kind of wear on you. More specifically, we are often so overwhelmed with new information coming in, that we can't process what we're hearing and it frustrates us. We all have an overwhelming desire to serve our kids the best we can and to feel good about the work we're doing, but when we know we aren't hitting that mark, it makes us feel bad/inadequate. Throw another meeting or two into that equation and people (mostly me) can get quite snippy. Anyway, I was a little upset at some things that were said last week and it took everything in me not to lash out. What I chose to do instead was just kind of shut down, and when I do that, I know that I throw off some pretty "loud" non-verbals. When the meeting was over, I was asked what was going on, so I shared how I felt and it was decided that we'd talk about it the following week. So we had our grade level meeting on Monday, issues were "put on the table, " uncomfortable conversations were had, and now things are much better. I shared that as a guy working with seven women, it could be frustrating at times. I feel outnumbered in some respects, but that's often the case when you work in a predominantly female field (well, at least at the elementary level). I also mentioned that I feel like my ability to talk about my feelings is fairly evolved, but that after I do, I can hear the old "suck it up" expression from coaches past. In the end, however, it was a good chat and we were able to address some issues before they got any worse. And that's always good.

So there you have it. Day 50 and the honeymoon is officially over, yet I'm as happy as I've ever been. In my next blog, I'll talk more about this "evolution" I speak of as it relates to my newfound teaching style...