Evolution- Part 1

The other day on FB, I talked about how I felt like my teaching style was evolving. It's crazy, but it's also true.

For the past 13 years, I've basically taught the same way. When I came into teaching, the district was embracing a style called, "Explicit Direct Instruction," or EDI for short. Using this style, teachers basically power taught lessons, then guided kids through some practice, and finally, had them work on independent practice. At that point, we could either wander the room a bit, or, if we felt we had done a particularly amazing job of teaching, we could go back to our desks, put our feet up, and go on Facebook. Not that I ever did that...I just heard some people did.

After practicing this "style" of teaching for so long, and after teaching basically the same content (often using the same exact same lessons), I found myself in a rut. "Teaching" was to the point where it felt dull, uninspired, and frankly, very lowbrow. I felt as if (and usually this WAS the case) I was the one with the information and that it was simply the kids' jobs to listen, "learn," and show what they had remembered. Many times, by staying on top of the kids, demanding their attention, and threatening them into paying attention, you got the false sense that kids were actually learning. Occasionally, you'd have the times where half the class would get an A on their math tests and you'd feel like you were a pretty awesome teacher for that simple fact. Nevermind you always had 7-8 kids getting F's, or another group of 3-4 getting D's. With those, you could simply blame their parents or the fact that for years, they hadn't paid attention in class and that their not learning was their own fault. It never truly felt quite right, but it was fairly easy to justify away and allow yourself to sleep at night knowing that their not learning was really their fault and none of your own. 

Then you'd have the teachers who'd approach this problem differently. They'd see the same lack of learning in their classrooms and use another strategy, which is to absolutely DRILL their kids (ALL of them) with COUNTLESS stacks of worksheets, assessments, and more worksheets. These teachers would often be obsessed with state test scores (something I became increasingly disgusted by), and because they were so worried about how the kids would do, they'd make them completely miserable. They fooled themselves (and maybe even some of the kids) into thinking that they really were learning. These kids may have been able to hold on to that information long enough that they could perform the next day, week, or maybe even month, but in the end, most of the information would be lost. Why? Because there was just no meaning to the lesson. 

Now, I'm not saying that any of these styles are inherently bad (after all, I wasn't exactly on the cutting edge myself), but what would typically happen is that the "bright kids" would excel, their parents would be happy, and because these were the parents whose opinions really mattered, you'd be labeled an effective teacher. You could elevate yourself to "great teacher" status by also having fun with the kids and great relationships with them and their families. Although I look back and realize all of my shortcomings as a teacher, I will always feel good about the positive change I was able to instill in many of my kids who were coming from less-than-ideal home situations. I don't think I was doing a bad job, in fact, I think I did a pretty good job all things considered. During my time at TCK, we completely transformed the place, and that's something I'll always be proud of. However, after six weeks here at AISC, I'm realizing how much I've grown, and how much more I'll continue to grow by staying on this trajectory. 

I've mentioned that the way we teach reading and writing is through a workshop model created by Columbia Teacher's College. For me, these programs were a HUGE unknown. I came here thinking that I'd be the expert on my "Thinking Maps," which have proven to be so effective in the past. And while I still believe in their efficacy, I've realized there are other ways that could be even more effective. The "learning curve" on these new programs was steep. So steep that often, it felt insurmountable. In education, we often talk about the "affective filter," which is our brain's way of reacting to either positive or negative stimuli. In other words, when we're stressed or upset, we can't think and learn. When we're happy and comfortable, learning happens naturally. Because my affective filter was so high, it was very difficult for my brain to accept this new information. But here was the problem: there wasn't a choice. We HAD to learn this program because we'd HAVE to use it on a daily basis. So now you've got a situation where you're being forced to learn a new program that is vitally important, but not enough time to process the information. Then, you're in a classroom where the expectation is to use the program, but not really knowing how because you still don't get it. Add to that that you've got some of your own ideas about how to teach it, but you have a co-teacher in your classroom who doesn't know your style, and since they're your co-teacher, you can't use it. Instead, you get to fumble through this new way of teaching, often confused, often feeling like an idiot, and standing in front of kids who are not really buying into the whole program because it's fairly obvious that their teacher doesn't know what they're doing and clearly isn't passionate about it. And that's a really important aspect of teaching. 

But now, six weeks into school, I can safely say I am starting to get it. Because I've spent so much time trying to learn about this program (thinking about it constantly, asking TONS of questions, and even getting a one-week professional development from an expert from TCC), I am finally maneuvering through the all of the confusion and instead am at a place where I'm feeling better about it every day. I feel less self-doubt, have started to kind of make it my own, am getting along quite well with my co-teacher, and have much more "buy in" from my kids. This workshop model is completely different in every way to what I'm used to, but on that note, it has completely challenged me on so many levels. I can't say that this experience has been fun, but like the quote that drove me to win the Paleo Challenge back in October of last year, "I didn't say it was going to be easy, I said it was going to be worth it." It most certainly hasn't been easy, but learning a whole new way of teaching has been an amazing process. Not to mention the fact that this is a program that's been created by one of the most prestigious teaching colleges in the entire USA. This is something that people pay tens of thousands of dollars to learn, and it's cost to me has been only a few stress zits and perhaps a few more grey hairs.

It doesn't stop there (literally the learning or the blog entry). There's more. While slugging my way through this new language curriculum, I was at the same time dropping the ball on math instruction. With the advent of the new "Common Core Curriculum," which is just finally starting to take off in the USA (and is also completely new to me), math has a somewhat new way of being taught and additionally, there are new ways for kids to show their thinking. This was only further complicated by the fact that the school DOES have a curriculum "Everyday Math," but it's incomplete at best, doesn't align with common core, and even more problematic, the school has basically told us not to use it. Basically, without a curriculum in place, we were left to create it ourselves. So now you've got one veteran teacher using the curriculum that we were told not to use, another one who uses kind of a piecemeal approach (but still teaching one concept a day), two new teachers using online resources, and one teacher who has ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. What made it worse for me was being surrounded by different people who had different ideas about how to teach, and then on top of that, basically being the most indecisive person in the world. As a result, I began to focus completely on my reading/writing and basically neglecting my math because I couldn't commit to anything. I was utterly lost, and then I took a trip down to Auroville...

To be continued