OK, OK. I know I've been slacking lately. I know it. But, I think that shows how consumed I've been by school lately, and that, clearly makes the whole thing not my fault. I mean, it's not like I've been lazing away at the Park Hyatt in the steamroom or watching episodes of Breaking Bad at night trying to ignore all of you guys. I've just been really busy, alright?!
Truly, sorry for the delay. I actually was waist-deep in writing this MASSIVE entry the other day, but as I was nearing completion, I had some second thoughts. Some of it was getting a little too personal, with some issues with kids (really more their families) and some co-worker drama. I still remember my last blog from Colombia, the one where I got pretty detailed about some of the staff drama. The whole time, I vented on it and talked about people thinking they'd never find it, but in the end, after I left, they did and I felt really badly about it. So, I thought better of getting too personal and deleted the whole thing. In the end, it's not like anything I was saying was particularly bad, but it just didn't feel right, so I let it go (although I think it definitely would have made for some juicy reading given my gift of exaggeration!).
I will quickly address the fact that the "honeymoon" period is definitely over. I don't mean my own personal "honeymoon period" (I don't believe I actually go through those stages of culture shock, seriously, because even my worst days here are still better than the conditions in which I had to work last year), but rather, the relationships with the kids and co-workers. This is normal, however. It happens every year. In fact, I remember last year posting that my class was such a joy to teach and how happy I was that I went down to fourth, and within another month or so, I was dreaming of an early retirement. That wasn't because of the kids per se (well, a few of them made things much worse), but also because after that first month had passed, many had begun to shed their acts and began testing me in every way imaginable. Don't get the wrong idea though, my kids aren't doing that to me, nor do I believe they ever will. This class is genuinely and truly kind, happy and mostly hard working (quite a few of the kids aren't super motivated because they know their stay here is only temporary, and in the case of the Korean kids, they have "Korean School" until nearly 10:00 every night). I've had to have a few "motivational speeches" (one of my favorite things to do!) with the class, but the result has definitely been harder work from them. But getting back to my point, there have been a few relatively minor issues with a couple of kids, but more so, with their parents. These are parents who often have relatively high-ranking positions and aren't used to not having things their way. In fact, I can say that I had one parent semi confront me the other day, and when I shared it with my principal, he replied that he was sorry I had to deal with that "uncomfortable situation." I laughed and responded that after 13 years in public schools, this particular conversation didn't even register on the "discomfort scale."
The co-worker drama (see how I'm toning this all down?) was simply us moving past the same stage where everyone gets along and into the new stage where people's little idiosyncrasies start to kind of wear on you. More specifically, we are often so overwhelmed with new information coming in, that we can't process what we're hearing and it frustrates us. We all have an overwhelming desire to serve our kids the best we can and to feel good about the work we're doing, but when we know we aren't hitting that mark, it makes us feel bad/inadequate. Throw another meeting or two into that equation and people (mostly me) can get quite snippy. Anyway, I was a little upset at some things that were said last week and it took everything in me not to lash out. What I chose to do instead was just kind of shut down, and when I do that, I know that I throw off some pretty "loud" non-verbals. When the meeting was over, I was asked what was going on, so I shared how I felt and it was decided that we'd talk about it the following week. So we had our grade level meeting on Monday, issues were "put on the table, " uncomfortable conversations were had, and now things are much better. I shared that as a guy working with seven women, it could be frustrating at times. I feel outnumbered in some respects, but that's often the case when you work in a predominantly female field (well, at least at the elementary level). I also mentioned that I feel like my ability to talk about my feelings is fairly evolved, but that after I do, I can hear the old "suck it up" expression from coaches past. In the end, however, it was a good chat and we were able to address some issues before they got any worse. And that's always good.
So there you have it. Day 50 and the honeymoon is officially over, yet I'm as happy as I've ever been. In my next blog, I'll talk more about this "evolution" I speak of as it relates to my newfound teaching style...
Truly, sorry for the delay. I actually was waist-deep in writing this MASSIVE entry the other day, but as I was nearing completion, I had some second thoughts. Some of it was getting a little too personal, with some issues with kids (really more their families) and some co-worker drama. I still remember my last blog from Colombia, the one where I got pretty detailed about some of the staff drama. The whole time, I vented on it and talked about people thinking they'd never find it, but in the end, after I left, they did and I felt really badly about it. So, I thought better of getting too personal and deleted the whole thing. In the end, it's not like anything I was saying was particularly bad, but it just didn't feel right, so I let it go (although I think it definitely would have made for some juicy reading given my gift of exaggeration!).
I will quickly address the fact that the "honeymoon" period is definitely over. I don't mean my own personal "honeymoon period" (I don't believe I actually go through those stages of culture shock, seriously, because even my worst days here are still better than the conditions in which I had to work last year), but rather, the relationships with the kids and co-workers. This is normal, however. It happens every year. In fact, I remember last year posting that my class was such a joy to teach and how happy I was that I went down to fourth, and within another month or so, I was dreaming of an early retirement. That wasn't because of the kids per se (well, a few of them made things much worse), but also because after that first month had passed, many had begun to shed their acts and began testing me in every way imaginable. Don't get the wrong idea though, my kids aren't doing that to me, nor do I believe they ever will. This class is genuinely and truly kind, happy and mostly hard working (quite a few of the kids aren't super motivated because they know their stay here is only temporary, and in the case of the Korean kids, they have "Korean School" until nearly 10:00 every night). I've had to have a few "motivational speeches" (one of my favorite things to do!) with the class, but the result has definitely been harder work from them. But getting back to my point, there have been a few relatively minor issues with a couple of kids, but more so, with their parents. These are parents who often have relatively high-ranking positions and aren't used to not having things their way. In fact, I can say that I had one parent semi confront me the other day, and when I shared it with my principal, he replied that he was sorry I had to deal with that "uncomfortable situation." I laughed and responded that after 13 years in public schools, this particular conversation didn't even register on the "discomfort scale."
The co-worker drama (see how I'm toning this all down?) was simply us moving past the same stage where everyone gets along and into the new stage where people's little idiosyncrasies start to kind of wear on you. More specifically, we are often so overwhelmed with new information coming in, that we can't process what we're hearing and it frustrates us. We all have an overwhelming desire to serve our kids the best we can and to feel good about the work we're doing, but when we know we aren't hitting that mark, it makes us feel bad/inadequate. Throw another meeting or two into that equation and people (mostly me) can get quite snippy. Anyway, I was a little upset at some things that were said last week and it took everything in me not to lash out. What I chose to do instead was just kind of shut down, and when I do that, I know that I throw off some pretty "loud" non-verbals. When the meeting was over, I was asked what was going on, so I shared how I felt and it was decided that we'd talk about it the following week. So we had our grade level meeting on Monday, issues were "put on the table, " uncomfortable conversations were had, and now things are much better. I shared that as a guy working with seven women, it could be frustrating at times. I feel outnumbered in some respects, but that's often the case when you work in a predominantly female field (well, at least at the elementary level). I also mentioned that I feel like my ability to talk about my feelings is fairly evolved, but that after I do, I can hear the old "suck it up" expression from coaches past. In the end, however, it was a good chat and we were able to address some issues before they got any worse. And that's always good.
So there you have it. Day 50 and the honeymoon is officially over, yet I'm as happy as I've ever been. In my next blog, I'll talk more about this "evolution" I speak of as it relates to my newfound teaching style...
Thank you! I love the "loud" non-verbals... those are way more effective than an actual diarrhea of the mouth.
ReplyDeleteRight? 20-something Ben would've handled things WAY differently...
ReplyDelete